And sometimes when you're very mixed up inside, you do things you shouldn't do.

The start of an end

Hi. I'm officially jobless now. My teaching contract at IEC ended last week and I'm not renewing it anymore. Meanwhile, two of my private students are currently staying in LA during holiday as usual and will be back again for school in mid July. They should be very happy to reunite with their dad by now. Sometimes I wonder how it does feel to live far away from parents. They are just seven and nine and they survive living far away from their parents for the past two years. They only get to return to their dad and mom when school is having holiday here in June and December. During those times, they'll usually stay for -more or less- a month. I know they never liked living here except for its food. Nevertheless, they'll be going back permanently after they finish their study here. Maybe in one or two years. By then, it will be a massive farewell for me and them :(

Okay, back to the jobless thing I first mentioned. To sum up, I have too much spare time right now. I'm confused of what to do to have my time occupied. I have started seeking for some jobs and it turns out that searching for the right job isn't easy at all. I'll apply for more jobs after I obtain my recommendation letter from IEC to be more promising. Speaking of IEC, a part of me is still unwilling to leave that place. Being able to work there, although part-time, is another thing I'm grateful for. It has been four years and it's a place where I learn and grow a lot. I meet various types of people and most importantly, I found the kindest person I've ever met there. She is the most sincere and hardworking person who inspires me in several ways. Finding people like her is very hard nowadays. I hope no one will ever dull her sparkle and she'll remain the same in the future. Another people I encounter there are a bunch of bright people. Although unwilling, I still have to let go. It's time to get new experiences. Until we meet again people!

A reminder

If only everyone puts himself/herself in other people's shoes before they act. I guess the stars would start dancing and singing in the sky and dinosaurs would start reproducing themselves from ashes and start attacking humans because the world had been in such a peaceful condition.

For me, the simplest act of putting ourselves in people's shoes matters a lot. I ,too, keep reminding myself to do so as often as possible because I know exactly how it feels to have and not to have, to be ignored and not to be ignored, to be respected and not to be respected. I also know very well that doing this might not be that easy as our point of views are much shaded by our own values, but I believe there are things we can learn by doing it. Practice makes perfect, don't you agree? ;)

One of the thousand things I'm thankful for

We finally met. Yellu, Clarissa, and I. Those two are seriously the busiest people on earth. Our schedules always collide with one another's and it has always been hard for us to find a day when three of us are available upon. Yellu usually works even on Saturday and Sunday, the same thing applies to Clarissa. She has another part-time job at a radio station on weekends but only at certain hours. Despite the absence of Shella and Weni who are currently not living in town, we still try to make time for one another, at least during one's birthday.

We might not meet frequently now but they are friends that understand me the most. To be honest, I don't actually have friends that know me as well as they do. I'm a very reserved and introverted person. I usually try very hard to fit in every situation and to meet other's expectation while interacting, but it's kinda different with them. I don't need to try that hard. We just fit and I unconsciously disclose things to them, which is rare. I don't usually do self disclosure, I find it awkward and I don't know how to deal with people's responses after that. However, they're just different. Probably because we share a lot of similarities. Most of us are a bit workaholic and have a hidden desire not to live in our country. Well, it might sound unrealistic or stupid, but we just can't stop talking about it. Some of them wanna leave permanently, while for me since my family is the biggest issue, temporary is enough. Weni and Shella are luckier so they got to leave Medan the fastest. Weni is currently working in Singapore after she graduated and I believe she won't even have the slightest thought of returning to Medan. Meanwhile, Shella is now persuing her language study in China and hasn't decided whether to stay there working or to return back to Medan after she finishes. The rest of us have to make our own way out. Yellu is planning to take her master study overseas in 2017 and she's now preparing the stuffs she might need later and finding any possible fundings to cover her school fee and expenses. She is a very determined person and I wish she will make it. I wish I will, too, although I'm not as determined as those three.

So I constantly thank God for sending them to my life and for reminding me to dream big and work for it. Eventhough if I fail, I know the others won't. I'm quite satisfied with my current life anyway, but if I succeed in this, it's a bonus!